Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Valuation as diagnosis: Darren Chambers of Lisney on Michael Lynn's Howth property

Hearing Darren Chambers of Lisney on RTE Radio yesterday afternoon showing the reporter around the Michael Lynn property in Howth, I suddenly found myself picturing hospitals; ward rounds to be precise, and the practice of one team member "presenting the patient" to the consultant - formulaically summarising the key aspects of the person's condition and treatment, so that the consultant and the rest of the team were quickly and smoothly up to speed on the all the defining information, so that the diagnosis and treatment can be agreed upon.

The language of doctors goes as follows:

The patient is a thin, 40-year-old smoker who presented to the Emergency Department complaining of chest discomfort and numbness. The patient has a history of alcoholism and poor dentition including recurrent dental abscesses, the most recent which was two months and drained itself spontaneously. He states he has had a dry, non-productive cough for the prior year. He reports a recent 15-20 lb. weight loss and a 4-week history of night sweats. His past medical and surgical history is otherwise unremarkable except for childhood asthma. Additional review of systems was unrevealing.

On physical examination, the patient was afebrile with stable vital signs. He was a thin male who appeared older than his stated age. Head and neck exam revealed poor dentition without any palpable cervical or supraclavicular lymphadenopathy. There was a left chest wall mass approximately 6 cm in diameter surrounding the left nipple, which was firm, non-mobile and non-tender to palpation. There was no skin discoloration, erythema, fluctuance, or draining sinuses noted. The patient had full passive range of motion of his left shoulder. The lung exam was clear bilaterally with no rales, ronchi or significant wheezing. His cardiovascular and remaining exam was without gross abnormality. His chemistry lab values were within the normal range. The patient has a white blood cell count of 9,800, a normal differential, and his HIV serologies were negative.

Listening to Darren brought to mind a picture of the Lisney team in a board room setting, at a weekly "new instructions" meeting, and each branch manager summaring the age, type, condition, size, setting etc. of each property under consideration, opening the floor for comments on the valuation (diagnosis) and marketing plans (treatment):

Approached by a winding driveway from Thormanby Road the residence stands in a sheltered secluded position in an oasis of peace and tranquillity. The fact that all the amenities of Howth Village and the Yacht Clubs together with Sutton are only a few minutes away and the city is a mere 12 km and Dublin International Airport less than twenty minutes drive seems hard to believe.

Extensive renovations on this important residence have commenced. Glenlion House now offers a potential purchaser an outstanding opportunity to bring out their own taste and fashion in completing this interesting development. Included in the sale is a detached chalet together with detached double garage.

A unique opportunity to acquire a truly magnificent south facing marine site enjoying mesmerising views over Dublin Bay and Baily. Subject to the necessary Planning Permission a truly magnificent family home could be created.

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